• Nancy I. Bagley

Stop Letting Others Choose Your Destination

Updated: Jan 22, 2019

When I was in my mid-20's, I was barely making it raising 3 children with little and no financial help from their father. I was on public assistance and had no reason or encouragement to change that. I remember when I had to add water to the laundry detergent and milk to make it last another week. Not to mention the numerous nights I went to bed hungry so they could eat. Luckily, I was able to get a few minimum wage jobs here and there before and during earning my degrees.

Over the years I learned that my situation was brought on by MY thinking. I didn't surround myself with people who encouraged me or caused me to want to become a better person. I was stuck and didn't know I was stuck. I thought that this was the life I was meant to live. Nothing more, nothing less. My kids were healthy, they had clothing, a roof over their heads, and occasional cable. I didn't have a driver's license or own a vehicle until I was 32. I either walked everywhere in town or friends would take me places. It wasn't until this time that doors started opening up for me. No longer was I limiting my life to a 3-5 mile radius. I started meeting new people and realized there was so much more to life--and I was hungry for it.

Nine times out of  ten, we have ended up picking what the majority wants to do regardless of our needs, thoughts, and desires. Why do we cave? As humans we all want to feel like we belong and that our mere presence makes the world a better place. The "people pleasers" are afraid of losing friends so they tend to give in and accommodate those around them. By doing this, they become step-stools and taken advantage of. The other group I refer to as " the don't give a hoots". They could care less what other think of them and have no desire to get involved with other people's affairs. They go through life looking out for #1 and do what needs to be done to survive. Then there's my group "the resolutes",who can find solutions to make all parties happy--including themselves. Those in this group have a desire for conflict resolution, helping others in need, and getting everyone where they need to be...except themselves.

When I made up my mind that I was no longer going to be a spectator, I had all sorts of adversity come my way in the form of "friends". We often surround ourselves with people who make us laugh and we feel comfortable around, but are we picking the right people to help us get where we need to go? Do they challenge us to do our best or are they stuck in their own mediocre comfort zone? Do they edify us or do they try to bring us back down to their level? Thankfully the Lord sent Randy Gage to tell us to "change our 5" if need be. There's no sense driving to the beach in a car full of people who want to go to the mountains. Stop letting others choose your destination!!!

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